“Women with and without men” in Turkey
A saying in Turkey goes “widowed women are easy women”. Widowed women in Turkey are seen as easy human beings primarily because they aren’t together with their husbands who would make them a bit more powerful. Unfortunately, this saying can be expanded to all women in Turkey, not just widowed women. Men see women vulnerable, and easy to fool when they are single. Such a perception is formed as men continue to exploit, harass, fool, underestimate; make women socioeconomically dependent on them. The group of women, who are referred to as “the wife of a man”, is thus important in describing women in Turkey. Women are seen stronger when they are married--but when they are single they are seen as the weakest circles of our society. These entrenched norms come from within our country and enter into an abyss in the form of a vicious cycle. Women feel vulnerable when they are single, but once they are married and they are by themselves, they feel weaker. As a result, they become more dependent on men and the same story continues.
What happened when a Turkish university student resisted a rape attempt on a bus? Well, it’s much easier to explain the veil than to answer the question about the wounds. Unfortunately, she was murdered and her dead body was found two days later. How did this happen? Was her murderer insane? Or was he just a man? If he was a man, he had the power. How strong could that girl be? She looked young, so she was probably not married, albeit would that change anything as she didn’t have a man accompanying her? She was by herself--without men. Presumably, she was feeling under pressure and oppressed. Who was she? Her name was Özgecan Aslan. She was just a woman riding bus home. But wait, she was an easy woman for any “mighty” eyes around her.
Why was Özgecan feeling insecure on the bus? Was it the perception of being single or being alone? Frankly, it was neither of them, but the perception of knowing that they are seen easy. What happens when women are married but aren’t with their husbands, just like in the case of traveling by the bus? The fact that they are a bit more powerful next to their husbands means that they are less powerful without their husbands. Considering that they are more dependent on men, they will feel under pressure whenever they’re alone. We see this subconscious feeling that makes women feel unsafe, when modern people who are less religiously bonded choose not to wear headscarves. Even though they choose this by themselves, they wary of men looking at them. That’s why they don’t prefer to go outside with an outfit that would make them uncomfortable. Further, people who are religiously bound choose to or forced to dress closed. They use their headscarves outside their houses not to suffer from the feeling of men “besides their husbands” looking at them at all--but their husbands may want them to take their headscarves of whenever they are alone. Why do women obey their husbands? If they weren’t to obey, they wouldn’t be accepted by men, or would just be murdered just like in the case of Özgecan. These are important symbols of women’s obedience towards men. All of this happens because women are seen easy.
What really makes women seem easy? It’s just us. We impose the idea of their vulnerability to women. “Female-headed households face high risks of poverty showing the increased vulnerability of women in the absence of their husbands.” This is a phrase we hear everyday from the news. Won’t this last forever if women are casually pushed to be more dependent on men? Women gradually start to normalize their weaknesses, and this will last forever if we continue imposing these so-called facts to them. Not always ignorance is bliss, though; in this situation women must believe in their strengths and should gain self-reliance to be emitted by the enduring cycle. We must show women how valuable they are, by calling upon them to be brave and to embrace the strength within themselves to realize their full potential. Emblematic events including the International Women’s Day, Mother’s Day are by no means subsidiaries that help women gain poise--at least in Turkey. We must show our women, quoting our greatest leader Atatürk, that everything we see in the world is their creative work.