A Patriarchal Society
A Deep Look at Women Murders
If you ask what the first thing comes to my mind when I hear the word “violence” is, I would directly say “women,” the innocent group of people. It is because I live in Turkey, where you can hear about a new woman murder whenever you open the news. It doesn’t matter how many, but it happens very frequently.
It is assumed that every day, at least one woman is killed. We can see that this assumption is almost true as between 2010-2015, 1134 women were murdered. 1134… Unbelievable.
One of those murders belongs to Alev Güven, which happened in 2014. Fatih Güven, her husband, had exposed her to violence for a really long time. Because of this, she left the house and sued for a divorce. Afterwards, Fatih wanted to make it up, but when Alev refused it, he became so angry that he stabbed her.
I asked myself, Why would a person not endure the feeling of rejection? How could his “honor” be that effective that it even caused him to kill his own wife?
And these two questions both constitute the major question I have: Is a person’s honor more important than someone’s right to live?
Experts say that in Turkey, most of these murders happen because of jealousy, custom, anger, or honor. But the main reason is so simple: We have a patriarchal society. In this type of society, men always intervene in their wives’ social lives, decide on what they should do or who the people they talk should be… If women oppose their husbands, the result is certain: violence. Why? Because men cannot be opposed; they are “holy.”
The main reason men became this dominant in our country is because of the way they were raised and the models they have seen. Childhood builds our future beings. Most of the time, boys are more tolerated than girls and freer to do whatever they want to. Therefore, when they face a situation that will harm their authority, they consult violence. Starting from their childhoods, it needs to be taught the boys that they are not the authority themselves but just a part of it. The other part comprises of women.
This way of raising children doesn’t only affect the boys but also the girls. They become passive that they can’t even tell their opinions to anyone, which also makes them silent in front of their husbands.
If parents behave in an equal way towards their daughters and sons, when their children grow up, they will both know that they are the half of the authority as the other part comprises of the other gender. This way, boys will be less authoritative, and girls will be more confident to tell their opinions.
However, this “family education” will only work for the next generation. First of all, in order these to happen, this generation needs to know what to teach their children. They need to be aware of what’s happening in Turkey to make their children sensitive about these events. Most of the Turkish people aren’t even aware of how many women die in our country and why. They don’t even watch the news but just look at the things like football matches or wedding TV shows. It is so obvious because the only programs that are continuous except for news are them; whenever you turn the TV on, you can see at least one.
In order people to be conscious about these, some public service announcements can be created, which some exemplary, famous, non-sexist people take part in and tell about how some Turkish women’s murder happened. This way, even if people don’t watch the news, they will see the advertisements in any case. Also, these celebrities may draw attention and be a motive to men, who are violent, to behave better towards their wives. Women may also be motivated to be outspoken.
We are getting through really hard times these days, but this doesn’t mean there is no solution. For example, my solution is a step. If everyone adds a new step on mine, won’t they constitute a really big ladder, which has the main goal at the top?
Works Cited
Candan, Mehmet, and Taylan Yıldırım. “Karısını, Çocuklarının Gözü Önünde Öldürmüş” [“He Killed His Wife In Front Of His Children”]. Doğan Haber Ajansı. Doğan Haber Ajansı A.Ş., 16 Dec. 2014. Web. 13 Apr. 2016. <http://www.dha.com.tr/karisini-cocuklarinin-gozu-onunde-oldurmus_825370.html>.
Çetinkaya, İlyas. “Kadına Yönelik Şiddete Çözüm Önerileri” [“Suggested Solutions for Violence Against Women”]. Milliyet.com.tr. Milliyet Gazetecilik ve Yayıncılık A.Ş., 8 Oct. 2013. Web. 13 Apr. 2016. <http://blog.milliyet.com.tr/kadina-yonelik-siddete-cozum-onerileri/Blog/?BlogNo=431927>.
“Kadın Cinayetleri” [“Murder of Women”]. Kadın Cinayetleri. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 2016. <http://kadincinayetleri.org/>.
Yegen, Ceren. “İnternet Haberciliğinde Kadın Cinayetlerinin Sunumu: Posta Gazetesi Örneği.”